insert non sequitur here

Some people make me feel sick

2009-11-26T03:10:30Z

... especially those who don't practice what they preach.

I'm alright with most Christians, or believers in any religion or theory. I'm agnostic, so I may not agree with them, but people have their beliefs and I have mine, that's fine - unless they push their views on other people, which seems to happen most of the time.

One of my friends (... friends is kind of a fast and loose term... "person in my social circle" fits better) is one of those hardcore churchy types. Youth group, Skillet, vocation Bible school, you get the idea. She has seen the light and feels the need to blind people with it. Despite this, the actual point of the Bible seems to have escaped her. She takes absolutely everything literally and doesn't get the "love thy neighbour" and "be a good person" message that the Bible (generally) projects beneath all the stories... if you disregard Paul the psycho who never knew Jesus (supposedly) and variants thereof.

Um, what??? How thick is your skull that you don't get the message of the book you love so much and feel the need to preach to "sinners"??

She's so malicious, gossiping about everything and everyone who doesn't fit in her agenda, all the while acting as if she's an angel. She picks and chooses what to believe. She talks about gay people as if they are the scum of the earth, which puts me over the edge. She's so Christian, yet so un-Christian. I don't say anything because I don't feel like getting into an ideological argument, but... oh my god.

What's worse is that it's not just her - so many people are this way. In many ways, "enlightened" people are often just further in the dark.

I think I'm too passive. Maybe.

2009-11-03T06:37:35Z

One day, It will get better.
What if it doesn't get better?

I think about the future too much - plan out an image of it in my head, what it will look like, feel like, taste like. It never really works out the way it does in that little world of mine, but is the outcome necessarily better or worse? It's just different.

I thought high school would be this place where you could be exposed to so many different types of people, talk to new people, find your social niche or whatever. I talk to nobody new. Is it the social awkwardness? Maybe, but I don't think I'm really that terrible. Maybe I just give off acerbic vibes. I mean, I'm in a social circle comprised mostly of people I've known for years. I like a few of them, but the majority I talk to just because they are familiar. They expect me to talk to them and I expect them to talk to me, which is just how it works.

If I keep with the mindset "someday it will improve", is it ever really going to? Should I be more assertive?
If so, how? I should do something exciting, but what? That requires living in the future, to an extent. Which seems to be part of the problem. A person who can only think about events that haven't taken place yet is existing in the present, but.. not really living.

I don't know. Take a chance? Take advantage of an opportunity?
I can't do that until I'm older. All I really know is that I want to go to Japan - but what kind of goal is that? Weeaboos and social rejects want to go to Japan. Regular teenagers talk about Twilight, wear Ugg boots, go to parties and generally do most of the things I don't really enjoy doing. God, I hate being my age. I hate 98% of the people my age. If I could, I would crawl into a cozy box with this computer and food coming in every now and then. That would be swell.

fritters

2009-11-03T00:08:32Z

Do you remember those corn fritters KFC used to have? They were awesome.
Crispy, golden brown, full of trans fats and covered in jam.
I haven't seen them since... 2002? 2003? But I just got a massive craving.

This is the post-Halloween diet relapse.

Fatty Fat

2009-11-01T22:16:42Z

4 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
2 packets of Reese's Pieces
2 Eggo waffles
2 mini KitKats
a Tootsie lollipop
a bag of Doritos (nacho cheese flavour)
a bag of popcorn (mozzarella flavour)
a Kool-Aid Jammer (orange)
french fries
a can of Pepsi
large papery vat (?) of Coke
McDonald's Southwest Chicken Sandwich

That was mostly Halloween candy I pilfered from my sister.
I feel so satisfied right now.

hmm

2009-01-28T01:24:59Z

Well, I've made a livejournal.
Will I post here or will it die? Will it be revived after its hypothetical death? Probably and maybe.